How to Say No (and Ask for What You Want!)
Here's how to say no:
If you want to say no to something, say no.
That's it.
Don't feel the need to explain, and don't feel guilty.
Examples:
Can you help us with the school play? No, thank you.
Can you go to lunch today? No, thank you.
Would you like to buy (item)? No, thank you.
Can you help serve in the nursery today? No, thank you.
If you are asked why, saying you don't want to is 100% okay. That's a good enough reason.
Resist the urge to say you don't have time. People will always find a work around for that one.
Then you'll be back to having to say you don't want to (which is the truth--you don't want to).
So just say you don't want to at the start. And don't feel guilty.
Here's how to ask for what you want:
Ask for what you want.
That's it.
Be specific.
Examples:
I would like to go to lunch today.
Not: I'm available for lunch today if you want to go.
Not: I'm hungry.
Please fix the squeaky hinge on the back door.
Not: The hinge on the back door has been squeaking for a while.
I want to step down from this volunteer position.
Not: It would be good if we could find more volunteers.
In each example, the first statement is a specific expression of what you want.
All of the others are announcements of something that's true.
The first statements let people know what you want.
The other statements don't.
You want people to respond to your needs?
Ask for what you want.
It's okay to do it. They do.
